I am not sure how to begin, if I can actually communicate or express what I am feeling. But…
I need to try.
It is so true, everything that has occurred in our life until this moment, makes us who we are today. The good… the bad… and the ugly… I am older now… but that doesn’t mean I am wiser, and I have learned, that is ok. I no longer need or want to know everything.
It is so crazy, we start out in our teens having all the answers… We are strong, powerful and know exactly who, what, where and how we are going to get there… along the way I have found it takes a lot longer to “get the why…” I have seen myself grow and change along the way. I have seen myself make mistakes and I hold on to many regrets. The “why’s” I am putting together a little at a time. “Why” does it take some of us so long to figure things out? Why do we ignore our own advice, advice we would give to a friend but not to ourselves?
I feel as thought my life is going by so quickly, I wonder will I get this all figured out…. will I have enough time to make better decisions??? Can I possibly learn to JUST be… just be happy? The kind of happiness that comes from inner peace… a peacefulness that comes from accepting your mistakes, learning from them… following some of the advice you give others so easily… and moving forward with hope and courage.
The “why” I question most is why couldn’t I have listened to all the signals my mind and body have given me over the years? Why did I choose to ignore them? The signals that made my stomach hurt when I knew I was making the wrong decision. The signals that made me physically ill when I stressed over something for too long? I am learning each day to slowdown, get quiet and take a few minutes to listen to what I have to say…
By doing that I discovered….
I love what I am doing…. for the first time in my life… I enjoy and look forward to getting up every day. I missed a lot of the signs along the way and could have slowed down and discovered I love making jewelry years ago…. but I didn’t slow down and listen.
I am learning.